Wonky bobs

Having spent months strimming back brambles, weeds and the rest of the jungle, you realise that your hair - unlike your land - is now quite wild, and it’s time to find a hairdresser.  In our previous small village there was one coiffeur who seemed to cut everyone’s hair - a very friendly guy who, having done a good job with the boy’s barnets, assured me he was also used to "doing" ladies styles.  So, off I went with my little phrase book and all the words (layers, fringe, thinning) I imagined I’d need for having a haircut.

I started off asking him to 'cut my horses slightly smaller than before' – when what I meant was to "cut my hair slightly shorter than it is now". It took a long time for me to stop mixing up chevaux and cheveux! So it was that the appointment quickly morphed into a French lesson; he got me to say certain things in French, laughed and then told me the correct way to say them. I kept glancing at the mirror and thinking my horses (I mean hair) was getting shorter by the minute – but thankfully Claude decided it was then time for a break. Coffee for me and a cigarette for him, the mickey taking of my French carried on regardless - but it was all light hearted and I was eager to make the most out of any opportunity to learn new words.

Coffee break over and back to the job in hand, my rather short and worryingly wonky new "bob" was finished with a flourish. 'Voila c'est fait!' he said.....as I looked in the mirror and gulped. Washed and dried to within an inch of its life, my nouvelle style now stood out at right angles to my head ... and a deflated 'Merci' was all I could muster. Rushing home, I washed my hair again and got my husband to level up the sides with kitchen scissors - which, despite his previous experience being limited to sheep shearing, was a slight improvement

It took a further 3 years to finally find a good hairdresser in the area – and then we moved and the search restarted. And at last, after another seemingly endless quest, I've finally found a fantastic one. She's young (ie under forty), listens to what you want (quite a rarity), speaks fluent French and English and is based in Villeréal, 10 minutes down the road.

So hasten to Georgie's Salon de Coiffure, the place to go if you too want to share my relief in finding a brilliant hairdresser – and banish wonky bobs forever!