Country Life 3 ; If you go down to the woods today……

……you’re sure of a big surprise. Ball Trap, par example. Yes, sounds painful, so some relief then when you find that it’s actually clay pigeon shooting (as opposed to something seriously sharp hidden under a blanket of leaves, specifically designed to neuter unwary ramblers). As a break from stalking Bambi - and giving their hounds a weekend off getting injured or hopelessly lost (and then spending three days finding their way home again) – our local chasseurs occasionally spend a few hours blasting away at little orange discs. Given the general quality of marksmanship, most of the clays remain intact, so other than the cost of the cartridges it’s cheap, noisy fun. En plus, you don’t have to walk anywhere, it’s easier to organise lunch and you can avoid the regular post chasse trip to the vets on Monday, along with the dogs who found their way home but cut themselves on a barbed wire fence in the process.

Keeping all the expended lead shot aimed in one direction has other benefits too. You and your fellow chasseurs are much less likely to accidentally shoot each other (although following midday aperitifs there’s no guarantee) and the unwary legions of fungi hunters who wander through the Autumn woods can do so safely – at least until they get home and attempt to eat what they’ve found.

And once darkness falls, what better way to round off the day than with a swift loto at your local salle de fetes. Not an opportunity to win squillions, acquire your own helicopter and retire to the beach – rather the more modestly rewarded world of French bingo. Hugely popular, convivial and with a range of practical prizes - commonly half pigs, Korean DVD players and discounted holidays to windswept Atlantic coast campsites - it’s an ideal chance to catch up with your more far flung neighbours  - and to confuse them all when completing your card by shouting ‘maison’