Le Parking

You’d have thought that after 100 years of mass producing cars, la belle France could have come up with a more inventive noun – I know there’s garer and stationnement (usually followed by interdit), but the first sounds like a bloke from Eastenders and the second is overloaded with consonants (and  nobody pays attention to the suffix) so, like international air traffic controllers, most folk use the universally recognised English alternative.

But once you’ve found your space in the town square or at your local Mairie’s loto night, it’s pretty obvious which country you’re in. Just wander down the (really irregular) line of cars – Peugeot, Citroen, Renault, white van (Citroen again), Ligier ( also French - made by the people who once ran a Formula 1 team –  these are funny little fibreglass things, propane powered, good for 30kmph and lethal  - doubly so as you don’t need a license to drive one), Peugeot….and so on.

Loyalty to home produced marques is huge & ingrained  - probably dating back to when crippling levels of duty were slapped on any import. And it’s inversely proportional to, for instance, Wales, where some of our celtic brethren go to great lengths to avoid buying any vehicle made on the wrong side of Offa’s dyke.

Continuing  your stroll -the occasional and more exotic BMW, Merc or Audi will be the province of one the flashier notaries,  the smart  4x4 (sans mud and dog cages) belongs to the pharmacien and the totally knackered and lightless Peugeot scooter (no MOT’s needed on 2 wheeled transport in France) is the property of the floppy haired teenager who hasn’t yet scraped together the €1300 for his driving test.

But if you want to avoid the collection of dings, dents and scrapes that almost every car – even the newer ones -  wear, avoid tighter town centre spaces and especially underground parking bays. Careful door opening is viewed in the same light as stopping at pedestrian crossings when people are waiting – technically possible but unnecessarily time consuming. Alternatively, fit reactive armour.