Let them eat cake

Ask most French – other than those whose distant relatives had an unfortunate appointment with Madame Guillotine – and they’ll be ardent believers in the Republique. It’s great they’ll say, driven by a strong sense of patriotism (not entirely a bad thing) – one set of rules for all, an unimpeachably fair system that removes the jackboot (ok, possibly an insensitive metaphor) from the throat of the repressed poor.

Then ask them what they think when they’ve been the victim of the ludicrous ‘fermage’ laws. Skewed in favour of small scale farmers, it goes like this – you’ve more land than you really need and, one bright morning, along comes your (apparently impoverished) neighbour with a suggestion. ‘Let me take care of it for you’ he says, sincerity for your personal wellbeing dripping from every word. ‘I’ll cut the fields, graze the cattle, maybe till the sod – you won’t have to worry about a thing – you’ll feel a real part of the community. Paperwork ? – no need, I’m just a simple son of the soil, moi’.

So Pierre gently buggers about in his harmless little way, always a cheery, almost pavlovian wave as you trundle down the drive. ‘Bless’ you think, blissfully ignorant of what’s to pass. Eventually the day comes when you decide to move and, as is the way of these things, Pierre comes to hear of this. Once again, he’s on your doorstep, but this time the conversation is a little different. As you slowly assimilate what he’s telling (not asking) you, the blood drains from your face. It seems that your rather smelly but seemingly cuddly voisin has decided he doesn’t want to stop working your land. Ever. And he’s got a son who’s going to carry on after him. And there’s not a thing you can do about it.

As you envision the zeros dropping off your property’s value, you consult a lawyer and, having puffed out his cheeks and made a phone call or two, he confirms the worst. If you have generously but mistakenly let someone work or use your land - without an written, 364 day, annually renewable rental agreement - for an extended period of time (opinions vary, but three years seems to qualify) and they want to stay on, they can.

It should be said that this isn’t the norm and you’d be very unlucky to get caught out – most farmers wouldn’t dream of trying it on. But if you’re not using your land and want it kept reasonably tidy, either sell it to someone who’s got the kit and time to look after it or pay an agricultural contractor for a biannual trim. Same thing applies if it’s a decent hay meadow – pay for the cut & sell the fodder you don’t need.

And if someone turns up with saucer eyes and asks to use your land sans formalité, smile sweetly and point them in the direction of your notaire.  It’ll save you a mountain of heartache and a fair few bob too.