National Sports

Long before their football squad imploded at the last World Cup, the French developed a healthy disinterest in team sports. This means that in the event of the boys playing badly, losing or having a collective strop, Jean Pierre can pretend that he didn’t care about the result anyway.  It also helps him persuade his tiny village to splash out on a brand new, synthetic surface tennis court, despite the average age of the neighbours being 70+ and the Mairie having an annual tax income of 50p. These courts seem to be everywhere, are well cared for and cheap to use. Like golf in Scotland, it’s a peoples sport, but without the loud trousers and incessant rain.

Boules,  played by the senior set  - preferably very slowly and when it’s hot enough to boil their Pastis  – is also an intrinsic part of country life, and a venue to brush up on your shrugging and smoking. Master all three, learn to kick Fifi’s little deposits off the gravel and you’ll blend in beautifully.

Cycling is hugely popular too – almost any weekend from early Springtime ‘till the end of October, streams of lycra and sunglass clad riders appear in clumps around blind corners, oblivious to car drivers thanks to their dayglo force fields. Hand gestures, indicating their judgement on the timing /proximity of your passing manouvre seem strangely familiar and on one level comforting, given that you’re a long way from home but can still understand the locals.

So bienvenue to the French sporting life - liberté, égalité, individualité